So very grateful.

"I have a shelter in the storm, when troubles pour upon me.  Though fears are rising like a flood, my soul can rest securely.  O Jesus, I will hide in You, my place of peace and solace.  No trial is deeper than Your love, that comforts all my sorrows."

As usual, it has been far too long since I have blogged.  I'm going to write a real blog soon on my last few months in Nicaragua, but for now, here are some of my thoughts...

I have been back in the States since October and yet again, to say that the transition has been easy would be a lie.  In fact, it has been very tough and at times utterly heart wrenching.  While I try not to show that, it's the truth.  I live in a society where I just feel that I really don't fit in.  But being here has made me even more grateful for my time in Nicaragua.  The times of communion so deep with my Savior.  To have had the opportunity to live real life.  Sweaty, sometimes smelly, dirty real life.  Covered in dust, but so full of joy.  Loving on kids who feel no love.  Learning more and more about the deep heart and incredible love of our Father.  And feeling His presence so deeply.  So fully.  Going to the dump where the stench is strong, but His love is so much stronger.  Talking with a lady so close to death and in so much pain and praying with her.  Lifting her up to our Healer and us both feeling His peace.  Seeing His grace in every day life so clearly.  So richly.  Witnessing His faithfulness in the big things.  And in the little things.  Being able to live a life where He is so ever near and provides.  I am grateful for the good and I am grateful for the tough.  The tough when there are no words.  The hardness when it just doesn't make sense.  With the good and the bad, I will choose to praise.  Through all of this, I know what real life is like and I can't pretend that I don't know.  I know that living a life not serving others is really no way to live a life at all.  That living a life to make much of myself will always leave me empty.  That living a life too rushed to spend time with my Maker just isn't full enough.  I know that chasing material things and distractions will only be disappointing.  I know that only in Him are we truly satisfied.  That furthering His Kingdom is what we are here for.  That in Him we are made whole.  And as I am here for this time, He is teaching.  And I am learning.  He is so patient and so very kind.  He is the same there and He is the same here.  Sometimes I just have to look a little closer, a little harder, but He is always the same.  So full of grace.  So full of mercy.  So full of compassion.  And so full of love.


Draw near to God, and He will draw to near to you. -James 4:8

And for that, I am grateful.